A Question, Happy Family

You Know What I Could Use? Another Lecture! Said No Mom Ever.

Soooooo… I came across a blog post during an insomnia Facebook scroll called Why Are Kids Impatient, Bored, Friendless, And Entitled? And you know what the implied answer is here, right?

Right?

THEIR MOMS ARE DOING IT ALL WRONG. And I got so angry.

And, to be fair, I  think the author, Victoria Prooday, a Registered Occupational Therapist, does mostly blame parents generically and uses the term “we” to soften the blow when relating all the things WE are doing wrong, but I have never in my life heard someone say, “That little kid is so impatient, her dad must not make her wait for things.” I’m pretty sure I know what “parents” means in these articles. These articles are written for an audience and that audience is moms.

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Doing it wrong since 2012

And as I skimmed this list of things I should and should not be be doing, I thought, this is so recklessly harmful, but EVERYONE does this. Do moms really need another list of EVERYTHING we are doing wrong and EVERYTHING we need to be doing to fix it? SPOILER ALERT: We don’t.

And why is everyone, women included, so quick to give a mom, an adult person, a lecture? Please Stop.

But I would like to answer the question proposed by the author of this blog. Here we go!

Why are kids so impatient, bored, friendless, and entitled?

Kids are so impatient, bored, and entitled, because being otherwise is learned behavior. Being otherwise means mastering these base reactions and acting against them. Children are still learning and still mastering. And so are adults, by the way. Have you seen a Baby Boomer waiting in a line? The very picture of impatience, boredom, and entitlement. I’ve heard these same words used to describe Millennials too, and Gen X and Gen Y…

Maybe a more accurate questions is why are humans so impatient, bored, and entitled? But it’s harder to blame mothers for a 40, 60, or 70 year-old person’s impatience, boredom, and entitlement.

I haven’t mentioned the friendless bit, because I don’t even know what this means. Perhaps today’s kids’ friendships look different than they did when the author was a kid? But from where I’m sitting, in my part of the world, friendships look very similar to my upbringing. I see my kids playing and negotiating and compromising and standing their ground. Playing nice and playing rough and figuring it all out.

But I have a question. Why do people feel so entitled and justified in lecturing parents (moms) and vilifying children?

This mom is tired of it.

 

1 thought on “You Know What I Could Use? Another Lecture! Said No Mom Ever.”

  1. I very much agree with you. Of course children copy behaviour they daily see as normal behaviour around them and in that way, they might reflect their parents…..but speaking of them as just copy-cats of parents totally denies that they are a person of their own, with their own character, with their own lines along they shape that character and get shaped.
    It is like you say, unhealthy for both parents and children to think they are just copying. For parents because they are made responsible for more than they can control, which is always sickening, and for children, because they are not made responisble for enough. Like you describe: grow into beings that learn that actions cause reactions, that choices have consequences, etc. Children have a mind of their own.

    Like

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