Caring For Yourself, Happy Family

Go Away Big Hairy Guilt Monster

There has been a lot of talk about guilt in my conversations with you via email, messages, Instagram, and Facebook. And the only thing I absolutely know about guilt is that we feel it ALL THE TIME!

We feel guilty about screen time, snack choices, lack of sleep, taking a look at our phones for 5 minutes while our toddler plays in front of us, taking a little time for ourselves, not taking a little time for ourselves, being cranky that one time, that time we let our kid test her boundaries on the wall and she fell off, that time we helicoptered in and didn’t let him manage that social interaction on his own. So much guilt is paired with our mom-choices.

Go Away Big Hairy Guilt Monster

But what’s with all the guilt? Why are we constantly being chased by guilt and simultaneously feeding it? What if we just stop feeding the guilt monster? Will it stop chasing us looking for food?

I say we stand our ground and tell this guilt monster to go away!

It isn’t serving us. Is it? Well maybe a little bit. The guilt I felt immediately after I shouted at my kid a month ago did serve me. I should have felt guilty. That was a totally crappy way to react to a crying 5 year-old. But now a month later? What is that guilt still doing here now? I apologized and explained that I was absolutely wrong. We talked it out. She moved on. But that guilt whispers in my ear, “Remember that time you shouted?

I don’t need guilt to stand guard. I don’t need guilt to keep me from shouting at my kids. I work hard every single day to keep from shouting because I don’t like people shouting at me, I’m not a shouty person, and it just feels wrong and nonsensical to me. So what is the guilt still doing here?

I’m not sure just yet. But it’s got to go.

Not over to you! Just down a long road to nowhere else. Because I don’t need guilt in my life. And I suspect neither do you! I’m trying my best, I’m busting my bottom for my kids’ happiness, health, wellbeing. I’m doing the best I can plus a little bit more. And that HAS to be enough because it is all I have. And there is just no more room for guilt.

IMG_4639

2 thoughts on “Go Away Big Hairy Guilt Monster”

  1. The major guilt I feel these days is more aimed at my parents. It doesn’t really fit with parent guilt here in the same way. I have a biological dad and I have a dad who raised me. My dad is Joe…he set boundaries, taught me how to swing a bat and how to drive, and was there for games and meets, hated my boyfriends, grounded me, LOVED ME. Every day, not just every other weekend! He was present! He still is present! My bio dad makes a great uncle! But growing up spending those weekends with my Bio dad and accidentally referring to Joe in a story or in reference to as MY DAD. That had to suck and hurt and I always felt shitty afterwards. To this day I still do it. Not intentionally! My bio dad set the tone for our relationship when I was so young I don’t even remember my relationship with either one of my dads as being any different than it is right now. I know as the adult once upon a time he had the chance to be more present and to not make a point of keeping his life separate…in another city when I was growing up and in another state for the last 15 years. I love to celebrate my dad Joe…he is a wonderful man and I share stories about him all the time on FB and IG. My bio dad is on FB and keeps tabs on me, but never acknowledges himself….so I know he must see those posts and I still feel the guilt. For Calling Joe my dad and sharing my love for him knowing my bio dad is seeing this. I still carry the guilt of hurting his feelings. I imagine he has some guilt too regarding our relationship. I know I’m lucky to have my dad Joe! He is truly the best man I know. I’m sure my bio dad is a pretty good guy, but honestly I don’t know him well enough to really know! And therein lies more guilt!

    Sorry it wasn’t the type of guilt that your blog was about, but when I read the topic today this is what I thought about! Hope you had a great Friday!💕💕

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s